My situation was much like JSpearman ... actually, even worse.
Before purchasing my Rav EV, I wrote repeatedly to Toyota USA - telling them I really wanted to buy this car, and asking them to allow for "out of state" purchase. After telling me NO initially, they later relented ... telling me I needed to do 2 things. Find a CA dealership willing to sell to an out of state buyer, and a local dealership (in Washington state where I live) willing to service my EV. I quickly found a willing dealership in Carson Toyota to sell to me, and I then went to my local dealership to inquire about service.
After meeting with the service manager, I was told they had 3 technicians that had the EV certification for my Rav. I reminded them that the Rav EV was a unique beast, with the Tesla powertrain and all that. I was assured they were trained and willing to commit to my Rav. I asked for, and received that assurance in writing. So I proceeded (back in January) to purchase my EV from Dianne Whitmire at Carson Toyota. Dianne was wonderful and my Rav arrived several days later. I was ecstatic.
A couple months ago I was ready to take her in for her first service visit - and after keeping up to date on many other posts on this website, I discovered that the Rav requires a unique plug (different from the PIP) for software updates. So I contacted them to verify I would be coming in within a couple weeks, and asked if they had the correct plug. They were unaware of any difference, so they promised to check into it and get right back to me. After 2 weeks passed with no reply, I went to the dealership to speak directly to the service manager.
Is was at that visit that the SM told me they would provide regular service to my vehicle, but any EV related work would require it being shipped back to California - at my expense. This in contrast to their assurances, both verbally and in writing. (Side note: I never signed a form agreeing to servicing only in CA either). Needless to say, I was extremely angry. I spent several days with my wife considering whether I wanted to hire a lawyer and begin a lawsuit. I still might. But in the short run, I didn't want to eventually be stuck with a dead car, and a $1,200 round trip transport to California while waiting for settlement. I sold the Rav after owning it for only a few short months, and took a steep loss in the process. My wife and I both dumped our Toyotas and purchased two Ford C-Max Energis. In the meantime, I'm still considering hiring a lawyer to follow up with this boondoggle. Really soured our family on Toyota - which was the only brand I purchased for the last 20 years (a new car every 2 years).
Best of luck to all of you "Out of Staters".